Dear Helen,
I’m asking permission to take a nap during the day—is that okay? I find it very difficult to allow myself to do this, even when I feel it would be the best thing for me. It feels like “cheating” or “playing hooky,” especially if I’m really busy.
Thank you!
Sleepy
Dear Sleepy,
Not only do you have my permission (which you don't need, though I'm happy to give it), but you have my urging to take a nap whenever you're tired.
Naps are one of the great pleasures of life. They give us an opportunity for reset. A pause. A timely rest. A second wind.
And the gentle clarity and pervasive sense of well-being that can follow a good nap? Unparalleled, in my experience.
But you know all this. Your body knows all this. It's why you're craving a nap in the first place.
The problem, then, is that you're getting in your own way with your thinking. You're trying to talk yourself out of a nap because you have an idea of what you 'should' or 'shouldn't' be doing with your time when you're supremely busy. You have a story about what it would mean for you or about you if you allowed yourself to nap in the middle of the day, when your to-do list is long and urgent.
So, let me pose a few questions I might ask you if we were in a coaching session together:
Why does it feel like cheating to take care of yourself?
Do you see a way in which napping could actually set you up for success to tackle your work?
Are there any true downsides to napping when you're really busy? If so, can you live with them? Alternately, can you trust yourself to deal with them, post-nap, if they're really troublesome?
I wonder if napping feels like a slippery slope to you—like, if you give in and rest, you might never want to get out of bed again. You might spend your days napping endlessly and shirking all your responsibilities. And what if, deep down, you're really just someone who wants to be horizontal 24/7, and succumbing to this temptation would mean descending into the depths of sloth, from which you can never return?!
I know this sounds hyperbolic and maybe even like I'm teasing you (I'm not, I promise), but I suspect there's an element of this concern behind your question.
My dear Sleepy, let me assure you: Napping doesn't work like that. Nothing does! We're self-correcting creatures.
We might create a habit that feels difficult to break, but once we wake up to the ways in which the habit is no longer serving us, we're free to change—and we often do change, just like that. Without too much fanfare or labor, we adjust. Recalibrate. Life rolls on.
If napping became truly problematic for you, you'd know. You'd see its effects on your life (I have a hard time imagining anything but positive effects, but I want to follow your concern all the way here, so stick with me), and you'd know it's time to reevaluate your habit. You wouldn't continue to stay in bed all day, every day, while your life crumbled around you. You'd take action. You'd find the balance once again. Life would roll on.
Listen to your body, Sleepy. Give yourself a nap when you need it, and get out of bed when you know it's time to resume your day.
You have infinite wisdom beyond all those chatty, concerned thoughts—and you don't have to do anything to access it other than let your mind settle.
I hope this helps!
Love,
Helen