How to stop feeling overwhelmed
STOP SAYING YOU ARE.
Seriously. Stop labeling that feeling you're having about your situation.
Once you attach a label, you make it this Whole Thing; you solidify it and take ownership over it and it becomes who and how you are. You continue to collect evidence to support it and the feeling grows.
We love labeling things.
"I'm anxious," we say.
"I'm a chronic procrastinator."
"I have an addictive personality."
We give a name to it and it becomes part of our identity. And once we see it as part of our identity, it's infinitely harder for us to show up fresh to each moment.
"I'm overwhelmed" is no different.
Don't claim it for your own.
Instead of seeing the mess of things that need your attention and feeling any which way about it (after all, feeling is highly irrelevant in these situations), ask yourself, What needs to be done? And then do that—just one thing at a time, knowing that you're not effective or efficient when you're unfocused.
How to better handle your problems
It always helps if we first understand that problems don't have to be problematic.
Shift your perspective.
Instead of seeing a problem as an upsetting inconvenience or as something that shouldn't happen, decide right now that problems are going to occur and there's nothing wrong with that.
When a problem arises, avoid the temptation to catastrophize. (This kind of pattern-interruption takes practice, so don't expect to remedy it instantly.)
Adopt the go-to response: What action can I take? Or, What needs to happen here?
Be on the lookout for a partial solution. Resist the all-or-nothing game since it's likely to keep you mired in the problem for far longer than is necessary or desirable.
Finally, consider ways to convert the problem into a project. As the brilliant coach Steve Chandler writes: "A project is a lot more fun, emotionally. A person can have a favorite project. A person will never have a favorite problem. Words carry emotional histories" (Time Warrior, 60).
How to improve at anything
Give it more of your time and attention.
It's not more complicated than that, though we often make it so.
How to find your purpose
Spoiler alert: We all have the same purpose.
The purpose of a human BEING is to EXIST. That's it.
None of us did anything to get here, so how could it be that there's some singular purpose that each of us has to magically discover and then fulfill in our lifetimes?
If what you're curious about is what you ought to be doing with your life, try coming at it from a different angle. Instead of asking, What's my purpose?, try asking, What am I on a mission to do?
The great thing about the latter is: Missions can change! You might be on one particular mission at this point in your life—and, at a future juncture, perhaps in a different season of life, you might choose an entirely different mission for yourself.
Missions leave room to grow.
In other words, you get to conjure up that drive to do something. Being on a mission is a supremely active, engaged, and empowering way of relating to what you can do with you life. You don't have to wait for anything to reveal itself to you, and you don't have to tirelessly quest after some mysterious and often elusive calling that may or may not suit you in a few years' time.