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Helen McLaughlin

W1355 Van Asten Rd
Appleton, WI, 54912
2628643536

Helen McLaughlin

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WF archives

53: Observing the quotidian with wonder

August 29, 2016 Helen McLaughlin

It's time for a change.

Today marks the first issue of Weekly Findings, Year Two. Same Monday delivery, same curious content, different look. I hope you like it and find the change to be as refreshing as I do.

First, some housekeeping:

Instead of including a sidebar, this new template is a 'long-scroll,' so be sure to work your way all the way to the bottom if you're interested in fieldnotes, links, and various curios.

Additionally, you may notice things shifting around here a bit, week to week, as I figure out what I like and what feels best within this new format.

Now, onto my findings...

I haven't read as much in the past week as I would normally. Dana said it best when he came inside through the back door of my parents' cottage one afternoon, book in hand: "I can't concentrate out there." He'd found himself staring out at the water, succumbing to reverie instead of real estate reading, and not that there's anything wrong with that—or anything wrong with resisting the reverie—it's just that this place (and maybe it's true of all places that sit on a body of water) insists we adjust our definition of productivity.

The productivity that seems to work best here is the kind that leaves your skin smelling sun-warmed. The kind that involves tallying up the number of stops a lobster boat makes in the cove before you, or guessing how many minutes you have until you're ankle-deep in ocean.

One thing I did read that really spoke to me was this, by Richard Kraft:

Looking through the notebook of an artist or writer is a revelatory experience: To enter their laboratory, where they are free of the weight of expectation, is to witness the unpredictable process in which ideas, materials, forms are first conceived and tested, discarded or developed. Notebooks are mysteriously alive—thought laid bare. Notes, sketches, and collaged scraps reveal the strange and compelling metamorphoses that result when writers and artists experiment and play, opening the field of possibilities. What notebooks have—in comparison with more finely wrought, finished works—are imperfections and flaws that make for a different kind of complexity.

I'd argue that anyone's notebook—writer, artist, or otherwise—is a revelatory experience. Case in point: There's a balding man with vitiligo visible on his suntanned legs, sitting caddy-corner from us in a coffee shop. Beside his smartphone is a small spiral notebook, laying open; I caught a glimpse of it on my way to the counter to retrieve my latte and managed to read the top few lines of his handwritten schedule for today. Tell me you're not curious already.

Monday
Exercise
1 hour Gardening
Clean up weeds

Anyway, it seems fitting in this 53rd week that I should come across such a description as Kraft's, one that crystallizes what it is I hope to achieve with these weekly notes: to share something that's decidedly alive, perhaps fragmented, capable of metamorphosis, and—and this is the big one for me—free of the weight of expectation. I forget this sometimes.

Photo credit: Dave McLaughlin

So, here's to another year of honoring the field of possibilities that exists when we show up fully. Maybe messy, probably incomplete, but fully.

(I hope you can allow yourself to believe that incompleteness, your general work-in-progress-ness, doesn't preclude your ability to show up fully.)

May my weekly notebook give you the permission you seek for your own process.

With love,
Helen xx


Fieldnotes

Ate: homemade sauerkraut, potato salad, spinach piccata, tomato-cucumber salad, spinach & feta omelette, overripe peaches

Visited: Rachel, Jay, Annie, Jodi, & Paul; Ken & Bev

Experienced: a sunset cruise on the Schooner Appledore out of Camden, Maine...where, after two generous pours of pinot grigio, I took it upon myself to speak shaky French to a group of (fortunately very friendly) Alsatian tourists


Links

I've been thinking about daily writing as documentation, which led me to revisit Erica Van Horn's journal, Some Words for Living Locally (I seem to rediscover her every six months or so); I rabbit-holed my way to Notes from an Urban Hibernation, invited myself for a garden visit in South Tipperary, and spent some time admiring toast cave drawings. [Side note: I'm terribly fond of how Erica Van Horn and Simon Cutts are using Twitter.]

Did you know you can write up an obscure syllabus and submit it to Bookforum? I'm having fun looking through these and thinking up my own topics.

A few weeks back, I'd read Leslie Jamison's essay, "The Immortal Horizon," from her book, The Empathy Exams (The Believer published it online in May 2011; read it here). Just last night, I happened upon this four-and-a-half minute video on the Barkley Marathons, the 100-mile footrace in the Tennessee mountains (and the subject of Jamison's essay).

"Every prescribed burn should have a clear objective."


Curios

Squidding again Saturday night (we had friends in town who understand that having a new experience should trump bedtime always), I finally managed a great shot of the glowing cephalopods. Strange to hear myself say it, but I don't believe squidding is ever not magical and mysterious.

Comment

52: A place I only sort of recognize

August 22, 2016 Helen McLaughlin

SUNSET | harpswell, me

We made it to Maine, and even though this is the place I've visited nearly every summer since early childhood, the past five days have revealed so much newness to me...which makes me wonder how much a place actually changes over time versus how much a person's perception of a place changes over time.

Were my quaint feelings about this place particular to childhood, to that smaller Helen who believed this place to be as unchangeable as my parents' faces or my kindergarten classroom or that Sesame Street episode that showed how crayons were made?

Maybe it's that the 1980s and 90s were really different, not just here (or maybe just here?), but everywhere else, too. Maybe that feeling of quaintness is the result of being in the right place at the right time. And being the right age to catch it all.

I don't know if that makes any kind of sense. But it's where my head's at today.

We discovered a candlepin bowling alley on a side street (where was it all those years when I was a kid?) and bowled two games. No matter that three of us were in sandals; Bowling Bowl sold Hanes socks for $1.50 a pair. I don't want to forget how amused I was when a blue poster reading ADVERTISE HERE ADVERTISE HERE came down on one of the sweep bars in a neighboring lane. My sister-in-law wondered aloud who would actually advertise there. "Maybe a local babysitter?" she guessed. I love that idea and want desperately for a local babysitter to advertise there.

My dad took the lot of us squidding one night. I stood still on a slimy dock and gripped a fishing pole, wiggling it occasionally to make my iridescent lure dance in the water. Fleshy tubes darted beneath the surface, eyes glowing with bioluminescence. I didn't catch one, but that was hardly the point.

Having never camped in my life, I checked off another 'first' on Saturday night when Dana and I set up a tent in my parents' backyard and slept with the ocean in earshot. I loved it. Loved it. Confrontational seagulls woke us up just before the tent started to bake in the morning sun. It was a perfect first camping experience.

Finally, I don't remember the sunsets here being quite so outstanding in my childhood, but it's possible I just never looked. (For shame, really.) I posted the different stages of one particular sunset on Instagram, but the images hardly capture the real-life magic (and thank god for that, otherwise what's the point of experiencing anything firsthand).

Hit 'reply' and tell me what surprised you this summer. Or, what was cozily predictable and wonderfully quaint.

'Til soon,
Helen


Notes from the week of August 14

DISCOVERED

+ crab is delicious

ADMIRED

+ how spot-on the Zen at Play newsletter is every week

ATE, DRANK

+ lobster
+ white wine
+ sun-dried tomato pesto
+ fresh cream gelato

READ & NODDED MY HEAD

+ "It started to feel like a great experiment, if not a great idea"

EXPERIENCED

+ squidding
+ jigsaw puzzling
+ stargazing
+ candlepin bowling
+ camping in a tent in my parents' backyard

COLLECTED

+ sunsets

BEFRIENDED

+ a dog named Stella
+ a tiny person named Jackson

FAMILY VISITED

+ Mom, Dad, Dave, & Sarah Jo
+ Becky, Patrick, Amelia, & Isadora

Comment

51: It's opener there in the wide open air

August 15, 2016 Helen McLaughlin

NEAR CHINATOWN | chicago, il

Today I write to you from a hotel room in Toledo.

[Side note: Do you ever think of Dr. Seuss's Oh, the Places You'll Go! when you read Weekly Findings and Dana and I are on the move? Because I do, sometimes.]

Photo credit: Dana Coyhis

To recap, both for my own posterity and for those of you who are curious: A week ago Saturday, we hopped aboard Amtrak once again and took an overnight trip to Dana's motherland, Wisconsin (which meant riding the Heartland Flyer from Oklahoma City down to Fort Worth, then the Texas Eagle from Fort Worth to Chicago, and finally, the Hiawatha from Chicago to Milwaukee). Once again we slept in a Superliner Roomette, and once again, we recommend you, too, invest in a Superliner Roomette should you find yourself traveling overnight on Amtrak. (For just a bit more money, you get a private room, a bed, an endless supply of coffee, and all dining car meals included. Plus, you meet fascinating people who are traveling for all sorts of interesting reasons.)

Once in Wisconsin, we made a beeline for Appleton—where, in more ways than one, it felt like summer truly began for us.

What a relief to experience temperatures in the high-70s (of course a few days crept up to the 90s, but Wisconsin 90s are, somehow, infinitely more pleasant than Oklahoma 90s), local beer, cool breezes, giant hugs from family, and corn on the cob.

We had breakfasts and dinners with the people we love; took long, ambling walks and pressed our faces against empty storefronts for sale; set up our laptops and worked from a picnic table on the bank of a river; bonded with a pet dove; visited the thumb of the state and relived our campground days; and, finally, collected our car from my in-laws' (who are very kindly storing all of our possessions since we sold the RV), plus our dashboard plants and some fall clothes, and hit the road once again.

Yesterday we headed east: through Illinois, Indiana, and into Ohio. Today we'll keep on eastward—tomorrow, too—until we land in Maine.

Before I lose my wifi opportunity, I'm hitting 'send.' It's a short one from me this week; stay tuned for more next Monday.

'Til soon,
Helen


Notes from the week of August 7

ATE, DRANK

+ Cranky Pat's pizza & Spotted Cow beer in Neenah, WI
+ grilled salmon, potatoes, corn on the cob
+ veggie burgers, potato salad, more corn on the cob

READ & NODDED MY HEAD

+ "Trump the Magician knows full well what he is doing when he speaks. He is creating a rising opposition of anger and focusing its behavior more and more on violence. He is methodical, strategic and patient – all great skills in a world leader. Except, of course, when they are holstered to the hip of a blood thirsty egomaniac on a life-long power trip. So what are we to do? Are we to shut him up?"

EXPERIENCED

+ up-close look at an Alfa Romeo
+ campground trick-or-treating on a golf cart

BEFRIENDED

+ Smidley, a dove

FAMILY VISITED

+ Connie & Bruce
+ Mike, Becky, Annabelle, Madeleine, Harry, Lois, Heather, & Jay

Comment

50: City notes

August 8, 2016 Helen McLaughlin

PASEO ARTS DISTRICT | oklahoma city, ok

Part of why I write Weekly Findings is because there's so much I don't want to forget as we travel around the country and explore new places.

After a few false starts, we left Oklahoma City (for good) on Amtrak this past Saturday—and, though we're both really glad to be moving on, I realized there's a lot I want to remember about this place that held onto us for almost an entire year.

Today, then—before it all blurs together or becomes a relic—I'd like to share a few of my city notes with you.

 

GOGUMA (SWEET POTATO) LATTE TOPPED WITH TOASTED PECANS

All About Cha

What you go for: coffee

What you leave with: an appetite for flavors and types of Korean tea and coffee that you never knew existed, all in just two size options, Love (small) and Passion (large); bibimbap; a teapot of London Fog and a double-walled glass cup to sip from

 

CRYSTAL BRIDGE TROPICAL CONSERVATORY

Myriad Botanical Gardens

What you go for: a walk around an urban greenhouse and some gardens

What you leave with: the feeling you've been transported to someplace; glee at watching koi dart beneath the water to retrieve food pellets before thieving geese beat them to it

 

The American Pigeon Museum & Library

What you go for: a Saturday afternoon amusement

What you leave with: a pigeon tote bag that makes you smile with every use; appreciation for an oft-overlooked bird; amazement at the variety of breeds; cooing conversation with the most exotic-looking pigeons you've ever seen

 

Saturn Grill

What you go for: dinner; also, to satiate your curiosity, since you pass this place most days

What you leave with: celestial-looking light fixtures; orange upholstery; falafel and bread pudding so tasty, you wonder why you waited until three weeks before leaving town to venture in

 

LAKE HEFNER LIGHTHOUSE

Lake Hefner

What you go for: long, weekend walks

What you leave with: urban fossils; the feeling that you're not landlocked (even though you are); more feathers than you can count; seagulls galore; new perspective on the city; serious cyclists; model airplane sightings

 

National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum

What you go for: culture

What you leave with: stealthy snaps of paintings; sightings of real cowboys on dates with their girlfriends; frustration at under-representation of females (prompting a visit to the National Cowgirl Museum in Fort Worth on your wedding day)

 

Thai Delight

What you go for: miso soup starter followed by massaman curry with tofu (spice rating 2); maybe a glass of plum wine

What you leave with: interaction with truly lovely restaurant waitstaff and sushi chef who notice when you haven't been in for a few weeks; booth selfies

 

Grand Boulevard Park
 
What you go for: afternoon walks in a neighborhood that isn't the RV park

What you leave with: trees blooming in February; breathtakingly large and elaborate mansions; constellations in thermoplastic road markings; more urban fossils

 

Museum of Osteology
 
What you go for: a Saturday afternoon amusement; also, bones!

What you leave with: a surprising (morbid) fascination with forensic pathology as it applies to household pets; an up-close visual of flesh-eating beetles (both their process and the aftermath)

 

Hideaway Pizza

What you go for: the best thin-crust margherita pizza of your life

What you leave with: countless Friday night dates; a discussion of the shmoo (thanks to the company's mascot, a blob that looks like a piece of mozzarella cheese wearing a black yarn wig)

 

Martin Park Nature Center & Trail
 
What you go for: long, weekend walks

What you leave with: the feeling of being a small child exploring a big woods; bench wisdom; bird sightings; head-in-the-hole pictures of each other; leaf-kicking; long, perfectly ambling conversations about the future


Notes from the week of July 31

DISCOVERED

+ Norwegian 'Slow TV' (via Addie K. Martin)

ADMIRED

+ "When someone is sad, you don't run away. You hug each other"

ATE, DRANK

+ two more goguma (sweet potato) lattes
+ lots & lots of berries
+ fish tacos
+ veggie lasagna
+ two cupcakes (red velvet & strawberry)

READ & LAUGHED LOUDLY

+ "The other day I was out running and someone yelled at me from a passing pickup truck. I think he called me a pansy (or maybe a Nancy?) It startled me, and I might have even jumped a bit. They probably laughed or high-fived each other or whatever those kinds of douchebags do after a successful drive-by shouting" (via Jill Salahub)

READ & NODDED MY HEAD

+ "So, for over 2000 years, way before the news and smartphones, our to-do lists have been bumping up against our mortality and August has had us feeling existential despair (not to mention hot and sticky)"

BEFRIENDED

+ Cindy at The UPS Store, with whom we had the most thoughtful conversation about voting that I've ever had with anyone
+ Reggie, our car attendant on Amtrak's Texas Eagle
+ Charles, one of our table companions in the dining car

Comment

49: Flipping the script

August 1, 2016 Helen McLaughlin

VIEW FROM SEAT 7A | north utica (or thereabouts), il

There's a person who reads this newsletter and scoffs (but keeps reading).

I learned about him last week. Rather, I learned about his propensity to read and scoff (but keep reading).

It rattled me, briefly, knowing that someone I didn't even know was reading is reading what I write here, and scoffing at it...because I'm human, I doubt myself and fall prey to my deepest insecurities just like anyone else. And just like anyone else, I'm prone to forgetting what's my business (showing up here every Monday) and what's not my business (basically everything else—but especially how I'm perceived). I say 'briefly' because it wasn't long before my mental gymnastics yielded the thought: But he continues to read, week after week? And then: He continues to read, week after week.

[*grins*]

See, it's that last bit that secretly (okay, so it's no secret now) delights me. The fact that he keeps reading, that he can't stop himself from seeking out my latest, perfectly imperfect missive on curiosity and play, shifting the habits that aren't serving us and reframing the situations and circumstances that, at first pass, seem hopeless.

He's still reading.

[*waves vigorously*]

Early on in the writing of Weekly Findings, I decided that a way to get over my stage fright was to have one person in mind as I sat down to compose my message. Usually, it was my dear friend Hannah, with whom I've always had a really robust and fun email correspondence. I'd pretend it was just Hannah on the receiving end of my thoughts. And the thoughts would come easier.

Some months later, I'd sit down and imagine the reader-friend I've never met who hits 'reply' with regularity and shares bits of her life with me. I'd imagine her because she's brave, and because she, too, is trying to make meaning of this life.

These days, it really depends. Sometimes I'll entertain a question with a client and find that the very same topic surfaces in an email exchange with someone else (serendipity for the win), at which point I'll write for both of them as if over coffee and bear claws. Other times, I indulge myself and pretend I'm giving a TEDx talk to a bunch of friendly pillows I've lined up on the bed in our hotel room.

Point is, I've never imagined writing to a resistant reader, to someone who reads and scoffs (but keeps reading). I've never stopped to think what that kind of person most needs to hear. I've never considered where he's at in this experience of life, and why it is that he feels compelled to mock the very thing he seeks out every week, and how I might be someone who's capable of illumination, someone who asks enough questions that she's bound to land on the one right question from which a distinction will emerge for him. And he will be changed.

I'm willing to write to that reader. I'm willing to write for that possibility.

I'm also willing to accept that, in some cases, haters are really just haters. No more depth to it than that.


The name Helen is Greek for 'shining light.' Also, 'the bright one.' Likely from ‘ελενη (helene), which is 'torch' or 'corposant.'

I'm not Greek, but my being a Helen is no accident.


American poet Emma Lazarus wrote "The New Colossus" in 1883, to raise money for the construction of the pedestal of the State of Liberty. You know the sonnet, I'm sure you do. Still, here it is, resonating like chimes for me this morning:

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame, 
With conquering limbs astride from land to land; 
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame. 
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor, 
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, 
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. 
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, 
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Lifting my lamp to the reader who scoffs (you're always welcome here),
Helen


Notes from the week of July 24

DISCOVERED

+ Leslie Jamison's gorgeous book of essays, The Empathy Exams
+ Amy Leach's whimsical gold, Things That Are

ADMIRED

+ clouds, but from above (on my flight to Charlottesville, VA)

ATE, DRANK

+ my favorite crinkle cookies from Hot Cakes

EXPERIENCED

+ an eraser shaped like sushi
+ the perfect tree-lined street in Waynesboro, VA

FRIENDS VISITED

+ Hannah, Bonnie, & Olivia
+ Jacqui, Will, & Lincoln

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bird watercolor by Helen McLaughlin
 
 
 

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