As a human and as a coach, I stand for choice in all things—including our relationship with ourselves.
Recently, I worked with a client who was under the impression she had to believe everything she thought about herself. She reasoned that, because she thought it (and knows herself better than anyone), it followed the thought must be true. An indisputable fact.
For years she’d been operating within a long-held suspicion, a hunch, that she was deeply flawed. Like, flawed in a way that nothing could fix, that she couldn’t blame on anything external. Flawed in the sense of being defective. Of containing a manufacturing error. Not-good-enough all the way down to her core.
Mind you: This woman is remarkably intelligent and capable. She’s gifted, yes, but more than that, she’s tenacious and focused, highly creative, and visionary.
There are imperfections, because those exist within all of us. But she isn’t defective (nor are you, nor am I). Machinery can be defective; people cannot.
Anyway, the meat of our coaching conversation was uncovering where she was repeatedly buying into a belief system that not only failed to support and empower her, but was one she’d never consciously CHOOSE for herself.
So then, after locating where her autopilot thinking kicked it and kept her in a mindset of deficiency, our job together was to bring a level of CONSCIOUSNESS and CHOICE to her thoughts. THINKING them might be out of her control, but BELIEVING them is a decision.
Each of us gets to make choices all the livelong day about what we believe—even, and I daresay especially, when it comes to the self-beliefs that run through our brains.
Do you suspect you need an audit performed on your self-beliefs?
(Pssst! A different client of mine once said about me, “She's a really good and empathetic listener, but also skilled at synthesizing information and getting it back to you quickly so you can really see what you've been saying and thinking and believing about yourself.”)
Email me if you’re ready to examine some of those thoughts and question some of those beliefs (and then maybe choose some different, better beliefs). I’m here to help.